Recently, there has been plenty of conversation around how to identify red flags in your relationship on social media. The Dababy and DaniLeigh debacle has reignited the red flags posts on all of our social feeds. And while spotting a red flag is indeed important, there is a more crucial piece to this conversation that’s missing, and that’s the steps you take after identifying a red flag.
So what exactly is a red flag? A red flag can be an undesirable and or potentially dangerous behavior that can lead to an unhealthy relationship or heartbreak. Sometimes red flags can be obvious and other times they can be quite subtle. While violent or aggressive displays are more obvious, an unwillingness to apologize is a subtle behavior and shouldn’t be dismissed.
The next step after spotting a red flag is to consider the type of relationship you’re in. To what extent do you see this relationship? Do you see or want a future with this person? If you want to be with this person, then you must effectively communicate with your partner. Tell them that you’re uncomfortable with their behavior and let them know why. Let them know that you value the longevity of the relationship and that certain changes are required for this to occur. As laid out in The Power of the Four A’s, a new agreement is necessary.
The best way to work through the poor behavior together, so that a boundary isn’t crossed is to teach one another how to better communicate your wants and needs with each other. This can look like “when you do/say X, it makes me Y. Instead, please do A so that B doesn’t happen.” While this isn’t a universal formula, it is a starting point to build and map out your specific agreement.
If you aren’t seeing a potential future with this person, then kindly express to him or her that the relationship is no longer a good fit for you. Explain why you’re not feeling it. Be kind, but firm. Don’t feel the need to make excuses for yourself. Be clear, but not mean or harsh.
Don’t let red flags derail your goal of improving communication with one another and building a healthy relationship together! If you see them early on, there’s plenty of time to work through it lovingly, and you can also go on to build a stronger connection.
If you see red flags in your current relationship or with someone that is new to the scene then talk about it! Don’t shy away from conflict as this will only lead to more problems down the line. Do not be afraid of sharing how you feel with those who matter most to you. If the other person is unwilling to address your concerns, then it’s time to part ways. You deserve a healthy loving relationship, and you shouldn’t settle for anything less!
Good communication is key in any type of relationship whether it’s a friendship, romantic or even business partner. Even when both people are on the same page if there isn’t good communication, they won’t be able to maintain that connection at all times.